Here’s me, sitting. Bogged down in reflection. And suddenly! – I’m struck by this seriously puzzling “happiness” thing – the question then hits: how can two things be true at the same time?
Let me explain….
We’re living in an era where self-help books, motivational speakers, and social media influencers are screaming at us to “follow our dreams” and “pursue happiness” at all costs.
But…. What if I told you that this relentless pursuit of happiness is, in fact, making us miserable??
It’s what I call….
The Unattainable Pipe Dream
I’ve spent years studying the concept of happiness, and I’ve come to a startling realization: happiness is not a destination; it’s a myth. We’re conditioned to believe that if we just work hard enough, earn enough, or achieve a certain status, we’ll finally be happy. But the truth is, happiness is a fleeting emotion that can never be sustained.
Put everything on hold and focus on this one crucial point. Have you ever achieved something you thought would bring you ultimate happiness, only to find yourself feeling empty and unfulfilled a few weeks later? Our brains have a permanent case of the “what’s next” bug, always hankering for something more.
Hamsters on a wheel, running faster and faster, but getting nowhere? That’s us!
The Cult of Positive Thinking
Now I know what you’re thinking:
“But Joseph, what about the power of positive thinking? Doesn’t that lead to happiness?”
Well, let me tell you, I’ve got a bone to pick with the positive thinking movement. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for optimism and a can-do attitude, but when taken to an extreme, it becomes toxic.
The cult of positive thinking tells us that if we just think happy thoughts, we’ll attract happiness into our lives. But…. What about the times when life throws us a curveball?
What about the times when we’re faced with pain, loss, or tragedy? Do we just put on a fake smile and pretend everything is okay? It’s a recipe for disaster – expecting one thing and getting another is both unrealistic and damaging.
And Here’s the Problem with Gratitude
Now I know some of you are thinking: “But Joseph, what about gratitude? Isn’t that the key to happiness?”
Well, let me tell you, gratitude is great, but it’s not the panacea we think it is.
When we’re forced to focus on what we’re grateful for, we start to feel guilty for not being happy all the time. We start to feel like we’re not grateful enough,
that we’re not doing it right.
Basically skating on thin ice with a setup like that? We definitely are.
So Here’s the Real Secret to Happiness
We’ve all asked ourselves at some point: what really makes us happy? Well, here’s the thing: there is no secret.
Happiness is not something we can achieve; it’s something we can experience in the present moment!
When we let go of the need to be happy all the time, when we stop chasing an unattainable dream, we can start to experience life in all its beauty and complexity. We can start to appreciate the little things, to find joy in the mundane, and to cultivate a sense of contentment that’s not dependent on external circumstances.
It Gives You the Freedom to Be Human
So I want to leave you with a radical idea:
What if we stopped pursuing happiness and started embracing our humanity instead? What if we allowed ourselves to feel the full range of emotions, to be vulnerable, to be imperfect?
You see, the real ticket to living life on your own terms lies right here. When we’re no longer bound by the need to be happy all the time, we can start to live life on our own terms. We can start to be ourselves, without apology, without pretense, and without the need for external validation.
And that, I believe, is the greatest happiness of all.